Oh good golly, it’s been a few years since I have ever been considered a Dance Mom but, like trying not to look at something abhorrent (train wreck comes to mind), I have been unable to keep from watching the entire season of Dance Moms.
“What?! You have no TV!” those of your who know me might exclaim. I sure wish that had stopped me but I got hooked watching the Pittsburgh”s Abbey Lee Miller Dance Company be warped into a reality based television program. Unfortunately, craptastic TV can now been seen on the interwebz and it became an embarrassingly guilty pleasure of mine (and yes, you too Jim). What’s a blog if not something to out myself to the world on my quirky pleasures?
Just like when we got sucked into watching Hell’s Kitchen, we would carry our supper plates into the workroom and sit on chairs unfit for dining posture (I thinks this was our penance for our viewing sins) and watch overly-dramatic, rude, crass, instruction be barked at underlings. From bar to barre we transitioned our viewing from pseudo haute cuisine competitors to kiddy-porn dance competitions.
This is as wrong as it gets for me because for years I firmly dug my heals in to battle against the dance competition scene. I read books like, Keeping Your Kids Out Front Without Kicking Them From Behind as I kept a choke chain on what could have easily been my dance mom neck. Our son climbed to one of the world’s top dance companies on his own talent as I battled my inner demons and kept my dance mom personae gagged and tied.
Watching this insane show now is like a victory lap for me; I was never one of them!! I laugh and gasp at how these sad moms and a twisted dance school steer these kids on a route that is so unnecessary. The kids are talented. I can tell, I was a paid employee at a quality non-competitive ballet school for years – I KNOW! Watching the conclusion of the season called for a special meal to celebrate how I dodged the bullet of the bad schools that would have fed me into the dance mom mode.
We were gifted with some Chanterelle Mushrooms from a local harvest and Jim made us a feast. He sautéd (not jetéd – no brushing/scuffing of the foot in this recipe) them with butter and chopped garlic. With a healthy portion of steamed broccoli, brussels sprouts and quinoa pilaf, we sat in front of the computer to watch the season finale. Toasting the meal with Gin & Tonics probably made the cat fights, pas de chats and Black Swan parodies more palatable but I can say it was the meal out-shined the show.
A virgin to the Chanterelle, I found the texture most pleasing, a very fleshy waving golden cap that when cooked had an almost fruity aroma and just a hint of peppery taste. I was moderate with my portion and am hoping this mushroom is a kind I will have the fortune to experience again. I will need it, I just found out Lifetime has taken on Dance Moms again next season.